The Monday Hangover…On Tuesday

By Will Anari

I originally wanted to name this article the Monday hangover, but then again, there is football on Monday. Last week I complained that I wasn’t able to watch due to work, but in all honestly, going 6 days without the NFL would be crippling. I also don’t care what anyone says, the NFL is exponentially better than College Football.

Someone once told me that they thought the 2011-2012 Alabama National Championship team could beat the 2011-2012 Cleveland Browns. Before we dive into the breakdown of the Week 3 games, can we just take a second to let that statement sink in?

This is easily one of the worse statements in the history of sports. Let’s take a look at the number of people drafted from Alabama that year.

Mark Barron 1 7(7) Tampa Bay Buccaneers S 6’1″ 213 Insider Only
Josh Chapman 5 1(136) Indianapolis Colts DT 6’0⅝” 316 Insider Only
Nick Gentry DT 6’1″ 289 Insider Only
Robby Green S 5’11⅞” 182 Insider Only
Darius Hanks WR 5’11⅝” 184 Insider Only
Jerrell Harris OLB 6’2¼” 237 Insider Only
Dont’a Hightower 1 25(25) New England Patriots ILB 6’2¼” 265 Insider Only
Phelon Jones CB 5’10⅞” 194 Insider Only
Dre Kirkpatrick 1 17(17) Cincinnati Bengals CB 6’1⅝” 185 Insider Only
Marquis Maze WR 5’8⅛” 186 Insider Only
Alfred Mccullough OG 6’2″ 213 Insider Only
De’quan Menzie 5 11(146) Kansas City Chiefs CB 5’10½” 195 Insider Only
Trent Richardson 1 3(3) Cleveland Browns RB 5’9¼” 228 Insider Only
Brad Smelley 7 40(247) Cleveland Browns TE 6’1⅞” 233 Insider Only
Courtney Upshaw 2 3(35) Baltimore Ravens DE 6’1⅝” 272 Insider Only
William Vlachos OC 6’0⅜” 306 Insider Only
Alex Watkins DE 6’3″ 234

8 players on the entire team drafted, 4 in the first round. YET, “good enough to beat the Browns.” Abysmal. One of the many reasons why I cannot take people seriously when they try to formulate arguments involving sports. If you’re going to say something, please educate yourself prior so you don’t sound foolish. Now time to recap week 3.

Buccaneers 14, Falcons 56

Matt Ryan in mid-season form even with the absence of his #2 option Roddy White (who has been nothing short of a disappointment for fantasy owners thus far.) Clearly Josh McCown isn’t the answer in Tampa, but is Mike Glennon? Buccaneers looked bad.

Chargers 22, Bills 10

Chargers continue to impress me on both sides of the ball, after beating a good 2-0 Bills team. Philip Rivers is in sync with his receivers and continues to dismantle secondaries through the air. Losing Danny Woodhead for the season is a huge blow for the Chargers O, with Ryan Mathews already sidelined. However the Chargers face JAX, NYJ, OAK & KC in their next 4 games. Philip Rivers is a must start for your fantasy team from here on out.

Cowboys 34, Rams 31

DeMarco Murray is an absolute beast, rushing for another 100 yards leading the Cowboys to victory. Two things from this game – the Cowboys defense is BAD (but didn’t everyone know this already?) and the Rams are even worse. Romo still doesn’t look 100% to me, but Dez found the endzone again, making fantasy owners happy. Austin Davis (who?) threw for 3 TDs and 327 yards in the loss (yikes). Zac Stacy only ran the ball 12 times but picked up 67 yards (5.6 YPC) on the ground. He needs to get more carries if STL wants to win. Run Zac Run

Redskins 34, Eagles 37

The Eagles powerhouse of an offense shines bright late in the game one again to eclipse a dreadful first half of football. The NFC East – where defense goes to die. Kirk Cousins in this “Dalton-style” offense throws for 427 yards and 3 TDs which shows promise for Redskins fans. McCoy only had 22 yards on the ground, and with the Eagles OL is falling apart, I’m not sold on them yet. 49ers next.

Texans 17, Giants 30

AHHH! FINALLY! A breath of fresh air for Giants fans. Rashad Jennings runs ALL OVER the Texans D – 34 carries, 176 yards. Eli Manning was dialed in and the Ben McAdoo offense looked how it should for the first time. Texans were without star RB Arian Foster and Ryan Fitzpatrick looked bad, but I wouldn’t worry Texans fans. WATCH OUT FOR THE GIANTS, all I’m saying (yes, I’m biased get over it.)

Vikings 9, Saints 20

Ted-dy, Ted-dy, Ted-dy. Minnesota’s offense is lacking that playmaker – wait, Norv Turner, how about you give that kid Cordarrelle the ball? He’s your best RB and WR while Adrian Peterson is out indefinitely. Hand him the ball, throw him screens, I DON’T CARE. He should be getting 20 targets a game. Drew Brees looks like Drew Brees and throws 2 TD’s in the sloppy win.

Titans 7, Bengals 33

Andy Dalton catches a touchdown pass from Mohamed Sanu. Wait, what? Gio Bernard & Jeremy Hill might be the most dynamic running duo in the league, combining for 3 rushing TDs. Bengals are scary good, honestly. They’re going to make some noise this year. Bright spot for Tennessee is Bishop Sankey picked up 61 yards on 10 carries. Is it Zach Mettenberger time yet? Who knows.

Ravens 23, Browns 21

This is probably the last game on earth I would ever want to watch. However, both teams played well. Isaiah Crowell & Terrence West both found the endzone and Brian Hoyer played great, but the Browns couldn’t stop the Ravens rushing game giving up 150+ on 29 carries. Zo Taliaferro is a beast, btw. Pick him up off waivers.

Packers 7, Lions 19

The Lions defense is GOOD. Via Rotoworld’s Evan Silva (@evansilva) #Lions defense has held Giants, Panthers, and Packers RBs to 163 yards on 62 combined carries. 2.63 YPC. Reggie Bush looked like Reggie Bush and was one of the only bright spots in the game offensively. Beware of Detroit.

Colts 44, Jaguars 17

Andrew Luck. What. A. Talent. 4 TD passes, 370 yards. Granted it’s the Jags, but still that is impressive. Also Ahmad Bradshaw has emerged as the RB1 in Indy, so pick him up off waivers if available. Bortles came into the game and looked good in his first outing. Pray for Jacksonville, and pray for Toby Gerhart (and my fantasy team).

Raiders 9, Patriots 16

“We suck.” –Charles Woodson. Yes Charles, you do. Pats looked flat, but Gronk scored so everyone is happy. Brutal game. AFC East is completely up for grabs.

49ers 14, Cardinals 23

The Drew Stanton show! Cardinals are 3-0 and their defense is vicious. The rushing game was virtually non-existent for the 49ers (rightfully so), but I think the 49ers will be fine. Andre Ellington ran well also. Keep your eye out for Arizona deep in the season.

Broncos 20, Seahawks 26

A battle of two powerhouses. Fact of the matter is, Seattle is almost unstoppable at home. This is the game that everyone wishes the Super Bowl was. Peyton’s late game heroics were trumped by the play of Russell Wilson in OT. Kid has a knack for beating legends. Seattle is exposed, but they’re still the favorite in the NFC you’ve got to believe. If I’m Philly or Arizona, I’m praying for the #1 seed, and more SEA losses.

Chiefs 34, Dolphins 15

The Knile Davis show! 32 Carries 132 yards. Rest easy Jamaal Charles. Alex Smith throws 3 TDs and the Dolphins look BAD. Lamar Miller earned his paycheck this week averaging 7.2 YPC, but the offense lacked elsewhere. Joe Philbin said that Ryan Tannehill might not get the start Week 4? What is going on in Miami.

Steelers 37, Panthers 19

Big Ben is an absolute BEAST, and Le’veon Bell might be the best RB in football. Steelers manhandle a very good Carolina team, that’s lacking a RB threat currently. Lots of pressure on Cam Newton = offense folding. Sidenote – Kelvin Benjamin is a freak. He is going to be very good in the league for a long time. Megatron 2.0?

Bears 27, Jets 19

Jay Cutler thrives in this Marc Trestman offense. The Jets front seven is seriously good, but their secondary is brutal. Jets had chances late in the game to come back, but Geno Smith choked and made too many mistakes. One outcome of this game, the refs need to learn to swallow the whistle (or in this case, keep the yellow flag from coming out.) Bears are not even playing their best football yet. Watch out NFC North.

Great week for football can’t wait for Thursday.

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